Identity: Limiting or Uplifting?
Joy Limiting Identity? – Renew . Regenerate . Replace
What identity do you hold? Deep down at our unconscious levels, some of our roles, expectations, phrases we use are defined based on what we experienced in our childhood or background, or what we saw in people around us while growing up, what we see every day in the media, and in our environment.
Understanding your identity is very crucial to your happiness because a major part of true happiness has to do with your true self and integrity. Living in integrity with your authentic self requires you to identify the roles and identities that have been consciously and unconsciously created in you, and then decide to replace the limiting ones with uplifting ones. According to a psychology professor and researcher, Sonja Lyubomirsky explains that we own a big portion of our happiness. That is, 10% is based on our life circumstances, and we may not have control over them. 90% is based on our attitude, our reaction, and how we perceive the realities of situations around us. How we see, tell, interpret, and move on with what happens to us contributes to the formation of certain identities and roles within us.
So, how do we identify and replace some limiting egos and roles with uplifting ones? (Renew . Regenerate . Replace.)
Renew your perception about problems: How do you see problems and challenges in your life? How often do you talk about a specific problem in your life without taking steps to change it? It makes sense to identify, and talk about a problem and determine to fix it if we can. But constantly elaborating on it over and over again can eventually become part of your identity. We can look for opportunities to connect to people on a deeper level of happiness and growth, and not only out of pain or problems in our lives.
Regenerate uplifting identities: What identity can you create for yourself for happiness, growth and success? Uplifting identities can help you grow, and can strengthen your strengths: Examples: “I am a grateful person,” “I am a person that seeks happiness,” “I am a person that lives a life of purpose,” “I am a person that loves contributing to society.” regenerate uplifting forms of identifications for yourself.
Replace diminishing Identity: Do you translate your feelings of sadness into your identity and ownership? Do situations define who you are, or you get to define them? To have a feeling or experience doesn’t mean to own or become it. You can be overcoming your present state (feelings/experiences) of unhappiness and failures. But you can unconsciously transform those feelings and experiences into your identity when you own and be them. You are experiencing “frustration, unhappiness, sadness, brokenness” but they are not who you are. You may be lacking some financial resources at this time but you are not broke. You don’t “have to” go to work but you “get to” go to work. It sounds uplifting that you are blessed to have a job, and that you have the physical ability to drive to work, contribute, and even get paid. It all depends on how you constantly affirm these words and expressions to yourself.